Corporate Culture Analyzer Gifts

'Your father and I have decided to pick up your option.'

"Let's see now, Harrison - how long have you been with us?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"They grow up so fast."

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'Mr. Donovan, is it all right if I tie my shoelace?'

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

Board of directors of a baby products company suck their thumbs after realising sales and profits are down.

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

'And my board approved this?'

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

'For those of you who don't wish to know the results of our executives pay...turn away now.'