Company Culture Observer Gifts

"I loved working at Apple. It's the only company I've found that allows having an 'i' in 'team'."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'I give this one about three months...'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Comments? Thoughts? Anyone?'

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

"I'll put your application on file, Mr. Brandt, but I'm quite happy with my current paperweight."

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"They grow up so fast."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'Mr. Donovan, is it all right if I tie my shoelace?'

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

How it feels to be in a company with poor communication.

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."