Business Culture Observer Gifts

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

'He stopped to gather his wits one day and missed half of them.'

"We don't call them 'yes men' here. They're 'affirmation men'."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Spot the difference.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

That shows business confidence.

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

Lethal Presentation

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'