Corporate Culture Observer Gifts

Company man

'It's either the worst idea to attract new clients I've ever seen, or the best...'

'In five year's time?... I see myself on that side of the desk telling you it's a great shame, thanks for all your hard work, but I'm going to have to let you go!'

"Yes, what time is lunch, and is the beer free?"

Employee of the minute

'It used to be a lot easier to goof off before the company started using office drones.'

National Head Quarters - Mom & Pop Stores Incorporated

'You'll notice the boss has boundaries.'

Board of directors of a baby products company suck their thumbs after realising sales and profits are down.

'I love to come here because it reminds me of how I became a capitalist.'

'It's damage control. Until we get this sorted out I'd rather you didn't do or say anything to make matters worse.'

"You caught us at a bad time, Pete. This is our post-lunch slump."

'I like people.. but not a whole lot.'

Safety comes first. Don't do anything that would give me a reason to hurt you.

"I've had my eye on you for some time, Parker....just what is it you're supposed to do around here?"

Two men in revolving door, one upside down.

"We've been so consolidated the last few years our logo is a mishmash of a bit of everything."

'Does that include our hidden agendas when they asked everyone to re-prioritize?'

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

'Ms. Willard, if I said 'have a nice day' to you, I'd have to say 'have a nice day' to all my employees.'

"This is Pierre. He's our new 'Oui' man."

"Welcome aboard. Here're your ID, your door code, and your antacid."

'Mr. Donovan, is it all right if I tie my shoelace?'

'Cash for being productive! Now why didn't I think of that?'

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

"Don't underestimate your abilities. That's my job."

'Mr. Harlow, I'm sorry to report your stock split and no one can find it.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

'Very good, now try the next word, sir.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'Do you want me to leave in the 'LOL' after, 'Honesty is the best policy'?'

'Sorry, I have to let you go!'

'That's the MD's office'