Business Culture Explorer Gifts

"Looks like there's agreement on the mask, but the handshake. . . in or out?"

That shows business confidence.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'Nice power tie, J.B.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

'I started as just another 'yes man', but eventually my talents were recognized and I became a full fledged sycophant.'

'It's lonely at the top.'

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."

"Hi Sean, welcome to my open space. Take a stand and let's talk."

'And my board approved this?'

Employer of the month...and every month.

"The new boss might seem severe, but he won't bite your head off!"

"It's all about teamwork. We even have our own mascot."

'Welcome to the Business Ethics course. Today we're going to start with the basics.'

"Remember to look miserable when you meet the workforce son. We've spent years convincing them that money can't buy happiness."

"Let's demonstrate our corporate values of diversity and inclusion and listen to some of Brian's stupid ideas."

The serious corporation

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

'Cunningham, it's time for you to take part in our staff motivation program. It's short, simple, effective and it goes like that: make more sales or I'll kill your family, eat your dog and burn your house.'