Business Culture Analyst Gifts

'Apparently many companies experience problems including: a lack of direction, poor accountability, lack of respect among members, pushing personal agendas, poor communication ...'

'I see the boss has made a change in his open door policy.'

"This little guy writes all my leadership post."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

That shows business confidence.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"I'll tell you what I'm looking for! I'm looking for a yes man, Jenson. Do you think you could fit that bill?"

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

"Don't tell me you're not hungover, it's nine a.m. and you just clocked out."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

"So we all agree to reduce our company motto to 'It was the least we could do'?"

"They got me for pillaging. How about you?"

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

"We're looking for people to fire."

'You deserve a bonus, but of course we can't give you one. Instead, we offer a pat on the back and five atta boys.'

"We try to treat volunteers like regular members of staff, impossible workloads and no resources."

'On the agenda for this meeting is sick leave...'

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

Rat Race Resources.

'It's lonely at the top.'

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

'I want a scurrilous biography. If it was good enough for Getty, it will be good enough for me.'

NOW HIRING SECRETARY, 'Oh, what the heck -- typing is overrated anyway.'

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

"My name is Bob and I'm looking for a 'Yesirree' man."

'I started as just another 'yes man', but eventually my talents were recognized and I became a full fledged sycophant.'

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

"We're trying to create a caring, supportive environment. For money though, not people."