American Culture Analyst Gifts

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

The height of fashion in 1796

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

"Say 'eh.'"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"I'm after the history section."

Cheer up – at least #et_tu is trending.

"How is it in Russia?"

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Honey, do you think I'm Eurocentric?"

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

When 'cancel culture' becomes commonplace...

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"