Pop Culture Analysts Gifts

"Why have we got reality t.v. stars when nobody longer watches t.v.?"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Kritik's Korner

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

The americanisation of vulture.

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

Giant Monster in Bath

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

Armageddon

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

100 best beheadings

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

As Seen Watching TV

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

Thinker, but not too deep: 'I wonder what's on TV tonight?'

'Son, it's time we had a little talk about the Byrds and the Beatles.'

Man Inside TV Produces Ideal Viewer

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

Justin Timberlake

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

The pop-culture critic's annual existential crisis."

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"