American Culture Analyst Pillows

Counting Blessings

American Idle

"Now I really hate poetry."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

The height of fashion in 1796

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Say 'eh.'"

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Now that was post-modern sex."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

"How is it in Russia?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'Poor Americans...If this includes intellectual torture, they'll have to cancel 70 of their Hollywood productions...' (Caption may be modified.)

"I'm after the history section."

"Honey, do you think I'm Eurocentric?"

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

When 'cancel culture' becomes commonplace...

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

"It's all significantly less impressive once you realize these guys had free child care."

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"

'We're wondering whether you'd fit into our corporate culture!'

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

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