Primitive Philosopher Gifts

Looking for a gift for a primitive philosopher enthusiast? Our collection offers witty and charming items that celebrate the timeless wisdom and quirky charm of these ancient thinkers. Perfect for sparking conversations or adding a humorous touch to any space.

All Products Prints T-Shirts Mugs Pillows

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?' mockup

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

from $19.00

"So, smartypants, what's this gonna do to our carbon footprint?"

"So, smartypants, what's this gonna do to our carbon footprint?" mockup

"So, smartypants, what's this gonna do to our carbon footprint?"

from $19.00

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.' mockup

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

from $19.00

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144." mockup

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

from $19.00

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website. mockup

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

from $19.00

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it! mockup

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

from $19.00

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide." mockup

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

from $19.00

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.' mockup

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

from $19.00

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker mockup

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

from $19.00

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of. mockup

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

from $19.00

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!' mockup

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

from $19.00

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?" mockup

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

from $19.00

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

from $19.00

Humans...What is their purpose?

from $19.00

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

from $19.00

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes." mockup

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

from $19.00

Ban on Free Speech

from $19.00

Historical memory is on life support. mockup

Historical memory is on life support.

from $19.00

'You lifted your head.'

from $19.00

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow." mockup

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

from $19.00

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!" mockup

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

from $19.00

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book) mockup

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

from $19.00

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful." mockup

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

from $19.00

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf." mockup

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

from $19.00

Jean-Paul Sartre

from $19.00

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!' mockup

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

from $19.00

Voltaire

from $19.00

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything." mockup

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

from $19.00

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense." mockup

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

from $19.00

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

"So, what did you do at charter school today?" mockup

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

from $19.00

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail. mockup

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

from $19.00

What's normal?

from $19.00

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist. mockup

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

from $19.00

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!' mockup

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

from $19.00

God Sneezes Out Creation

from $19.00

Primitive Philosopher Gifts Collection

Primitive Philosopher Mugs

Explore our collection of mugs featuring primitive philosopher themes—perfect for fans of humorous and thoughtful drinkware.

Primitive Philosopher Pillows

Discover quirky pillows with primitive philosopher designs—add humor and philosophy to any seating area or bedroom.

Primitive Philosopher Prints

Browse our art prints celebrating primitive philosophers—ideal for adding a clever touch to home or office decor.

Primitive Philosopher T-Shirts

Check out our t-shirts inspired by primitive philosophers—fun, stylish, and ideal for those with a witty take on ancient wisdom.