Primitive Philosophers Gifts

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

"We've finished the hunting and gathering. Let's invent the vacation!"

Thinking Gears

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

Arthur Schopenhauer

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"This'll show the Theology Department."

The first 'outside the box' thinker.

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

Self Checkout

Hmm... all I need to do now is invent the wheel...

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Cave Painter

'I inherited therefore I am'

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

'I've tried hunting, and I've tried gathering, but what I really want is a desk job.'

'It's just a phase they're going through.'

"They think I don't have a clue."

"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

God is a spider.

'But if night falls, why does day break?'

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

Cycles of evolution and destruction

'I didn't realize you were so fond of it, Sir Isaac.'

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

'This 'wheel' thing of yours - does it have to be round or will any shape do?'