Primal Ponderers Gifts

"You reckon Winterbottom is still in the clutches of that impossible female?"

65 Million Years Ago

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

The Evolution Of Man.

Ten Commandments

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"Great, now we're lost."

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'Oh dear. My son's an evolutionary throw forward.'

Caveman who has just invented the wheel is amazed to see a paper airplane demonstrating the principle of flight.

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

"And, finally, to my wife, my love and appreciation for her understanding and critical insights, without whom this project would never have been accomplished."

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'