Primeval Ponderer Gifts

The Invention of the 3rd Wheel

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

"Billions of years ago, earth had only one huge supercontinent..."

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Where Meteorites Come From. Ahh-choo!

Mankind

Romance gets off to a rough start in the Paleozoic era.

'Knock the corners off that mate - and you've got the wheel.'

How moons are born...

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'