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The Invention of the 3rd Wheel

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

'The reports were right...he's using tools!'

'If only Darwin could have seen this!'

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

"OK, now you've gone back too far."

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

Mankind

Romance gets off to a rough start in the Paleozoic era.

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"Billions of years ago, earth had only one huge supercontinent..."

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

'Knock the corners off that mate - and you've got the wheel.'

How moons are born...

Jupid/Jupiter/Jupidest

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.