Pearly Ponderers T-Shirts

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

"Boxing day is so boring."

'Caffeinated or decaffeinated?'

"I forgot to call in dead."

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

"I'm thinking about freezing my eggs."

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

Falcon finds Waldo

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

"Why cull us when we could be retrained?"

Steve Spermatozoa, dead at 35 from terminal horniness.

"Hmmmmm ... I don't see you on our 'friends' list ... "

"Did you make an appointment?"

The Invention of the 3rd Wheel

'Why the Coyote Crossed the Road?'

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

"So what's his story?"

"Certainly you're qualified, .… we're just trying to achieve a certain dynamic."