Pearly Ponderers T-Shirts

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

An epiphany is the sudden realization of essential meaning. An "explanation point"!

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Lost dog/Lost Sheep posters

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

"I forgot to call in dead."

'Caffeinated or decaffeinated?'

"Boxing day is so boring."

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

"I'm thinking about freezing my eggs."

Steve Spermatozoa, dead at 35 from terminal horniness.

"Why cull us when we could be retrained?"

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"?

Falcon finds Waldo

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

I used to feel empty and worthless around that heavy guy, too, until I realized, hey, he's just full of pennies!

That's okay --- Nobody would get in if we included cheating on diets.

"Did you make an appointment?"

"Hmmmmm ... I don't see you on our 'friends' list ... "

'Why the Coyote Crossed the Road?'

The Invention of the 3rd Wheel

"So what's his story?"

"Certainly you're qualified, .… we're just trying to achieve a certain dynamic."