Pearly Gate Ponderer T-Shirts

"I can help the next person in line."

"Did you make an appointment?"

"Hmmmmm ... I don't see you on our 'friends' list ... "

"I don't know how we're going to work this. According to your psychiatrist's evaluation you have multiple personalities, two of which are okay to enter. But the other three..."

"So what's his story?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

The Good Samaritan.

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

Physicists at the Fourth Grotschlov Conference assembled to determine once and for all if light is a wave or a particle.