Pearly Gate Ponderer Gifts

"I can help the next person in line."

"Did you make an appointment?"

"Hmmmmm ... I don't see you on our 'friends' list ... "

"I don't know how we're going to work this. According to your psychiatrist's evaluation you have multiple personalities, two of which are okay to enter. But the other three..."

"So what's his story?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

The Good Samaritan.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

'We don't have a health plan, but we have a very nice cemetery right out in the churchyard.'