Paleolithic Ponderer Gifts

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Admit it, we're lost."

65 Million Years Ago

Neptune

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

The Evolution Of Man.

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

So, that's bipedalism? It doesn't look very ergonomic.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

'The dawn of woman' - Ape-women dance around giant bar of chocolate.

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

Fish crawls from the primordial soup.

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'