Paleolithic Ponderer Gifts

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Neptune

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Admit it, we're lost."

65 Million Years Ago

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

The Evolution Of Man.

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

'I know it's hard to believe. But biological speaking, they're our closest relatives.'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

'It was fun to make bujt don't see any possible use for it in the future.'

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

The Land Before Mimes.

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'