Prehistoric Philosophers Gifts

The Theory of Evolution.

The first car accident.

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Ancient Racing

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Admit it, we're lost."

The discovery of asparagus.

65 Million Years Ago

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

Those Were The Days

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

The Evolution Of Man.

"I told you a firecracker behind his back didn't seem like a good idea!"

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

The First Cone of Shame.

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

Early accounting scandals.

"Great, just great! And while you're in here, potchkeeing around with paint, Seymour Rabinowitz in the cave next door is inventing fire already!"

"Plagiarist!"

So, that's bipedalism? It doesn't look very ergonomic.

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.