Prehistoric Writer Gifts

The First Cone of Shame.

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

Ancient Racing

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

The discovery of asparagus.

"Admit it, we're lost."

Another Theory as to Why Dinosaurs became Extinct.

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'Your 'marriage' invention sounds good, but what if it leads to a concentration of power for the central government?'

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

Early on-line shopping

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

A caveman rubs two sticks together and gets a computer.

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

So, that's bipedalism? It doesn't look very ergonomic.

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

Infographics: the early years.

'The dawn of woman' - Ape-women dance around giant bar of chocolate.

"Your wheel idea was a huge hit, so what have you got for me this time?"