Price Increase Pundit Gifts

"The price is up again? I hadn't noticed."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

Davos.

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Conservatives' Golden Economic Legacy

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

Euro fall...

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

Boris Johnson lies his way out of trouble

'Let me guess: you and everyone else?'

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

"Apparently there's been a slowdown in China."

Apples...37 Spinach...43 Peaches...51