Price Pundit Gifts

'You think gas is high? Your mocha latte works out to $85 a gallon.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'Harold stopped looking for a job to protest the price of gasoline.'

Petrol Prices: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Difference of Opinion

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"