Pretzel Perfectionist Gifts

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

The wonderful world of cheese.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

Husband bakes a pie

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

Man Can't Live By Beer Alone...That's Why There's Pretzels!!

Pretzel family.

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

If you want to spend more time with your family, fill out a job application like the rest of us!'

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"What the...some jerk licked the salt off all these pretzels."

"Quick! Toss me the stalest one you've got!"

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

'You always go that extra mile, don't you Molly.'

"If they don't like the food, try to explain to them how hard it is to cook really good food."

'Exactly what is wrong with the pie? I'll have you know I paid a lot of money for that bush meat at the corner shop.'

Dutch Apple Core Pie .

"We've only got one parrot remember."

Pie

'According to today's boxscore, Rockley, you've made a couple of errors and you didn't score any runs.'

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'

Drawing board disaster.

"With the pretzels I recommend a hearty burgundy, with the goldfish a blanc de blancs."

"The guy has three sesame seeds and six poppyseeds and he thinks he can call himself an everything bagel."

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".