Pretzel Pundit Gifts

"The guy has three sesame seeds and six poppyseeds and he thinks he can call himself an everything bagel."

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Eldrow

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"Pie chart"

Pretzel family.

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I wouldn't mind, but I only topped the bloomin' thing up last week!"

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"Quick! Toss me the stalest one you've got!"

"What the...some jerk licked the salt off all these pretzels."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

'Well,here's the answer to why your car has been running so rough in the mornings Mr.Tait...It's pregnant!'

"Yes, we can hear well at the back, but I'd be happy to change seats with anyone who can't..."

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

Cow sells fresh pies.

"We can't be the only three."

'Correction,Dear- it's OUR newspaper!'

Vernon Trunick with the 3 O'Clock Report

Pretzel Co: 'Tell me...why should we hire you?'

'I wish you'd learn to put the lid on your petri dish, Harry! We came hear with four kids, and now it looks like we've got 20 million!'

'My fortune says 'You have enjoyed genetically modified rice and you will be hungry for more in an hour.''