Puzzle Pundit Gifts

Eldrow

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Neuro, Biology, Chemistry, Feedback, Psychology, Technology, Physiology Institute

"Fact amnesty"

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

'Why is it always about me?'

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'This doesn't work as a heart-felt plea for world peace, but with some astute editing, it might be great on a greeting card.'

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"As a cost-cutting measure, for our fall list we have decided to bypass traditional bookstore sales and subsequent remaindering, and instead go directly to the shredder."

'Ed' 'Op-ed'

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

'I have a twitter account to slag off my facebook friends and I use facebook to insult my followers on twitter.'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

"The thing with Sudoku is I can never find the right words to fit."

'We lost your case, but the PR was a success. Three publishers are bidding on your story, and 30 PTAs are petitioning to have the book banned.'

"It doesn't work as a novel. But we're willing to publish it as a desk calendar."

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

'Ok cup cake looks like its time to meet your maker.'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

His first book was huge, but publishing is such a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately business.