Pretzel Perfectionist T-Shirts

The wonderful world of cheese.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"Wordle in two! You hear me? Two!!"

Husband bakes a pie

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"....and some apple pie for dessert...oh miss, remember that a la mode!"

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

Pretzel family.

Man Can't Live By Beer Alone...That's Why There's Pretzels!!

"The big money doesn't seem to be in Pretzels anymore."

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

If you want to spend more time with your family, fill out a job application like the rest of us!'

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"What the...some jerk licked the salt off all these pretzels."

"Quick! Toss me the stalest one you've got!"

"If they don't like the food, try to explain to them how hard it is to cook really good food."

Pie

'Exactly what is wrong with the pie? I'll have you know I paid a lot of money for that bush meat at the corner shop.'

"We've only got one parrot remember."

'You always go that extra mile, don't you Molly.'

Dutch Apple Core Pie .

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'

Drawing board disaster.

'According to today's boxscore, Rockley, you've made a couple of errors and you didn't score any runs.'

"With the pretzels I recommend a hearty burgundy, with the goldfish a blanc de blancs."

"We can't be the only three."

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".

'Which species do you think was in there previously?' (Birdwatchers buying a cuckoo clock).