Pretentious Pet Owner Gifts

Art Pets

Seagiraffes

'Fetch.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

I think the cat wants to go out.

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'And this is scraps.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'