Pretentious Pet Owner Gifts

Art Pets

Seagiraffes

'Fetch.'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Cat Show

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

I think the cat wants to go out.

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

'And this is scraps.'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'