Naughty Pet Owner Gifts

'Sammy! Naughty bird! You know perfectly well that you are not allowed in the patients room while they're still alive.'

'Fetch.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Biofelineism

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Super Dog'

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Cat Show

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Christmas Presents.

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

Hell No Kitty

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

K9 Literati.

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

'He's an octopussy. They're specially bred to catch over 100 mice an hour.'

'And this is scraps.'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Pet Pony

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'