Naughty Pet Owner T-Shirts

'Sammy! Naughty bird! You know perfectly well that you are not allowed in the patients room while they're still alive.'

'Fetch.'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Biofelineism

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Super Dog'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Christmas Presents.

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Lady taking her Cochin chickens for a walk.

"Now I'm sure that, at this point, you're wondering HOW I can remove the anal sacs..."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"That was the pet store, dear - they want to know if you've noticed any minor flashes of aggression in Joey since starting the steroid bird feed?"

Pet Pony

'And this is scraps.'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

K9 Literati.

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

"It's just until he gets over his laryngitis."

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'