Pretension Ponderer Gifts

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Bumper Limos

Extreme Sisyphus

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Retirement Issues

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Fortune teller sees impending doom