Pretension Ponderer Gifts

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Bumper Limos

Extreme Sisyphus

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"I'll have dessert first."

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Retirement Issues

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'