Prenatal Milestone Gifts

Ultrasound. . . AKA: Womb Zoom

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

One!

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

First Steps

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

Parent Involvement Tip #1

Eagle parenting.

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"Technology is for babies!"

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"They grow up so quickly."

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

Child complaining while his mother putting on total 'son' block.