First Baby Milestone Gifts

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

One!

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

First Steps

"It makes you look old."

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

Eagle parenting.

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

'They're young hares, so it's OK for them to be a bit crazy in March, but thankfully, we've grown out of that!'

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

"Worthy of an Oscar don't you think?"

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

'He's about to destroy his first city and you're in a meeting?'

Proud parents take a photo of their potty-trained child.

Ultrasound. . . AKA: Womb Zoom

'Her first telekinesis!'

Baby's first text.

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

'Look, he's taking his first steps.'

"They grow so fast. He can already scan a bar code."

Baby Paparrazzi

'Oh, look! Baby's first text!'