Prenatal Milestone Pillows

Ultrasound. . . AKA: Womb Zoom

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

First Steps

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

"Car accident? No, I volunteered to hold the rope for the pinata at my son's birthday party!"

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

Eagle parenting.

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

'Who said you could come out of your room?'

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"They grow up so quickly."

'He's already surfing without nappies!'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

Child complaining while his mother putting on total 'son' block.

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'