Pregnancy Detective Gifts

Either one of us is pregnant, or he's lost his watch again!

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"I hear you may do a baby."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

Uterus: One size fits all.

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'I need affordable daycare now!'

Baby on Board

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

Generation Ex.

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

Happy Mothers Day

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

'A work in Progress.'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"For once I'd like to go on a date where she made eye contact instead of iPhone contact."

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

'How far along are you?'

'So, the Father is a native of Easter Island?'