Pregnancy Detective Pillows

Either one of us is pregnant, or he's lost his watch again!

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"I hear you may do a baby."

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

Baby on Board

'I need affordable daycare now!'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

Happy Mothers Day

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

Generation Ex.

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

'How far along are you?'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Film Critic

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

'A work in Progress.'