Divorce Detective Pillows

Generation Ex.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

$1: Family Secrets

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Joint Ventures!

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

'Busting balls since 1983.'

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"He snores from October to May!"

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,