Marriage Detective Pillows

"Why did you just blink?"

I love my wife and hate my girlfriend!

"I found a homing device in my wedding ring!"

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

Generation Ex.

"There's a rumour going around my head that you don't love me."

"If someone winks a you forty or fifty times, are they coming on to you?"

"It's not what you think."

"We're compatible in every way. That's my concern; we have nothing to argue about."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'My wife! The therapist we hired to help us reinvigorate our marriage!'

"I can tell when you're just kissing me to get some of my lip balm, Josh."

'You want to understand women?...I granted you a wish, not a miracle!'

"You weren't playing hard to get! You were scared of commitment!"

'I don't know what they see in her. . . I think I'll take a closer look.'

'We had the perfect marriage until we took the magazine quiz.'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'Girls! I won't understand them if I live to be six.'

Trick questions...