Pregnancy Prankster Pillows

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Cat makes a dog pound cake with dog cather inside.

The Birthday Mafia Sends a message.

'We're hoping to sell the naming rights.'

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

"Six down, three to go!!"

Knights

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

"Then maybe you should just tell me what you want for your birthday instead of saying you don't care."

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

'That burning sensation is just a nasty case of hemorrhoidal flare-up.'

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

"After 40, the body has a mind of its own."

"I said, 'Make a WISH'...not a whiz."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

The Last Few Weeks of Pregnancy.

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

The future Muhammad Ali about to be conceived.

"What a coincidence. My mum is going to be a single mum and I'm going to be a single baby!"

Zombie Birthdays.

"Uh, don't you think you're taking this bay-talk a little too far?"

'No, no...I meant, cut the CAKE!'