Future Parent Prankster Pillows

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

Baby, baby maker

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

It is always something whenever Grandmother watches little Louis.

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

'You did that on purpose!'

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

'I'm not looking for treasure. I'm trying to find where I buried Dad.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."