Pregnancy Pranksters Pillows

Contraction Tipping Competition

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

'Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?.. Are we there yet?..'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

Back to the Holidays

"Six down, three to go!!"

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

'Stop fooling around, I can hear my dad coming out of the shower...'

'No problem Mr. Billings, just drop your shorts and let me take a sniff around there.'

Remember, when we show mommy, we pretend this was your idea, ok?

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

Children in a Nursery.

"We should get a lot of money from the tooth fairy. I set out grandpa's false teeth!"

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

"After 9 months floating here, instead of a birth certificate I should get a diver certification."

"So there's this big Mother...."

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Hide and Seek

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

How to avoid a heart attack.