Prayerful Foodie Gifts

"We wish you gave us enough sense to avoid all this cholesterol, salt and all these additives."

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Holy Macaroni,

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"The wings are addictive."

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

'Those wafers are no good. Why don't they have cookies?'

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

"First, do no ham."

Cheesemaker

Bishop reads menu which features only loaves, fishes, water and wine.

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

"Sometimes I come up here and think about the great meals I've eaten."

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."

'And if this food does what I think it will - may we all meet in Heaven.'

"Put some spiritual food in there."

God Cooks Up Evolution