Prayerful Foodie Gifts

"We wish you gave us enough sense to avoid all this cholesterol, salt and all these additives."

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Holy Macaroni,

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"The wings are addictive."

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

'Those wafers are no good. Why don't they have cookies?'

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

"First, do no ham."

"Sometimes I come up here and think about the great meals I've eaten."

'And if this food does what I think it will - may we all meet in Heaven.'

"Put some spiritual food in there."

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."

Cheesemaker

'You said we can grow our own food. So, where's the hot dog seeds.'

God Cooks Up Evolution

Bishop reads menu which features only loaves, fishes, water and wine.

Overeaters anonymous meeting 9 to 10pm

Holy Pizza