Foodie Faith Enthusiasts Gifts

First Church of Cuisine - Now serving wine, communion, wafers and cheese.

"How can you be out of wings?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Church Basement Foodie

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

This Year's Spa

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

Holy Macaroni,

Sushi Train Spotters

I am to blame.

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

Repletion.

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

'Those wafers are no good. Why don't they have cookies?'

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"