Foodie Faith Enthusiasts Pillows

First Church of Cuisine - Now serving wine, communion, wafers and cheese.

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Church Basement Foodie

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

This Year's Spa

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

Holy Macaroni,

Sushi Train Spotters

I am to blame.

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

"Should we try that new place in the corner?"

Repletion.

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'Those wafers are no good. Why don't they have cookies?'

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'