Foodie Of Faith Pillows

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Church Basement Foodie

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Avocado Timeline

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

Holy Macaroni,

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"The wings are addictive."

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

'Those wafers are no good. Why don't they have cookies?'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"I'd better not eat any more broccoli. I'm saving room for spiritual food."

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

Barbecue Fetch

'Pigs feet, sir? 'ARE THEY PICKLED?'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"Let there be light hors d'oeuvres."

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

"First, do no ham."

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."

'And if this food does what I think it will - may we all meet in Heaven.'

God Cooks Up Evolution