Faithful Foodie Gifts

'I enjoyed the deviled ham, the deviled eggs and the devil's food cake, but we need a menu more in tune with our mission.'

'Hey! - Are you eating again ALREADY?'

'Ask Jesus to stop multiplying bread and fishes...it's the plates what we need now.'

'Dear Lord, for what we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful...'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"And here's a list of food you can't eat."

"No body of Christ for me, thanks - I'm trying to cut back on carbs."

"Fries with that?"

'I'm beginning to feel bad about skipping church for a cookout.'

'By 'fasting,' do you mean he's only eating fast foods?'

Catholic Dieter's Dilemma

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Obese Woman Worships the Food.

'Is this communion wafer gluten free?'

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."

'Those wafers are no good. Why don't they have cookies?'

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Crust is Risen! Pizza Nite

'Sermon - if he wanted us to eat genetically-modified food, h would have modified them himself.'

"Man does not live by corn syrup alone."

"Every time I go on a diet, he brings up the land of milk and honey."

"He is risen."

"But before the complimentary buffet, I'd like a few minutes to talk about religion."

"Fantastic service, lousy food."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

"Will preach for food."

The Blessing of the Pasta at Trattoria Del Vaticano

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

God Cooks Up Evolution

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

Honk if you love Jesus - Jesus Cruz's Bar & Grill 12 mi. ahead.

King Kohen

'No Rashid, I didn't bring the milk... did you?'