Prayer Skeptic Gifts

'I don't normally pray but I'm desperate for ?5,000.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

Drive-thru Church

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

Praying mantis.

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"Eventually the leaders of every religion say 'We spoke to God and he wants you to give us money.' ...Every. Single. One."

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'