Praise Patrol Gifts

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

They hated me.

Police Feline Unit

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"I'm very pleased with the way you've handled this thankless boring job, Fenwick...."

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

Polar bear on a mountain of plastic

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

And if you press that one, somebody will come in and tell you what a great job you're doing.

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

"Poppy has left the dog kennel. I repeat Poppy has left the dog kennel...Yes, yes, we have a code brown!"

"Look at you! What's your name? Huh, cutie? What's your name? I can see the man walking you is of no help. We won't judge his rude behavior. No, we won't, will we?…"

"Bev, send in someone who knows when I'm fishing for compliments."

'That's right, my Master follows me on my walk with a plastic bag in his hand: I have no privacy anymore...'

"No, I said 'sit'."

Seminars for Sycophants

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Yes, I got it all.'

"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."

Lady flattering an amateur man of the arts

Poet with a lauding bar on his head.

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

'You talk about a clean dog!'

"Here, clean up after yourself."

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'

Poopa-Scoopa

"Oh, for goodness sake! I'll change the baby's nappy!"

Walkies again?

Ocean Plastic

Approval Heaven

The Dog whisperer.