Praise-master Gifts

"Well, I thought installing a kitchen faucet without having to call the plumber was a pretty good 'praise'."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"And this all happened in the last week..."

"I'm very pleased with the way you've handled this thankless boring job, Fenwick...."

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

And if you press that one, somebody will come in and tell you what a great job you're doing.

'Well done! I've never heard anyone slip from jargon into gibberish and out again with such ease!'

Secret Family Recipes

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

Seminars for Sycophants

Printing Room

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'I've lost my voice...'

Krazee dancer yeah!

Gymnastics.

Man using a trampoline to reach and prune a tree.

'The following speaker was scheduled to give his talk last week, but needed more time to prepare his impromptu speech.'

'If you have anything of importance to tell me, for goodness sake, begin at the end.'

Poet with a lauding bar on his head.

Lady flattering an amateur man of the arts

"You can just say you don't like it ... you don't have to make that face!"

Boy, this cold medicine works great.

Paul Lawrie

'Wow! That must have been one hell of a good salesman!'

"Larry couldn't be here today, but representing him is the scene from 'The Shawshank Redemption' that he quotes from every time."

"Well, Doc, being in the business. My opinion is that your printer got too much ink on his plates."

"What, did you think I could only do dog pose?"

If serving staff wrote the fortune cookies.

'What are books?'

No sound bite, please help.

'Hey, Mister! Stop bawling at me!'