Pragmatism Follower Gifts

Drive-thru Church

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Eager to get back out but want to limit your exposure? Come to Barry's barbershop, restaurant, gym 'n cinema.

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

Put it in writing!

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

How to go through life attentively with Marshimallo Yogi

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Thirty years of accounting and I haven't had one 'happy accident.'"

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

"Bob's more realistic."

"Kids and grand kids squared away forever ago. All set with money. No energy for a whole court thing. So-o-o... maybe you just die?" "Whatever makes you happy, sweet cheeks."

"Do you have anything that declares my undying love, but with a six month get out clause if it doesn't work out!"

Great Expectations - Managing Expectations

"Have a good day at school, and don't worry about the killer virus."

The Pee and Pray - for today's busy Christian.

"It's a troubling ethical dilemma."

"Make the world a better place. If not that, then make lots of money so we can stay above it all."

"Rememeber Son, money can't buy happiness, but it pays for a lot of anti-depressants"

"What this place needs is a hydro-electric dam" "A glass of water would be nice"

Business man at desk, "My family? Hell no, those are my clients"

"I just found an Eastern philosophy that's very accepting of S.U.Vs."

"Your present state is caused by a hypersensitivity to existentialist thought. I'm recommending mega-doses of pragmatism as a therapeutic counteractive."

'It happens.'

"...He's just freelancing for Mammon!"

"I don't know if I want to marry, but I would like a combined household income."