Pragmatic Thinker Gifts

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

"Rememeber Son, money can't buy happiness, but it pays for a lot of anti-depressants"

"What this place needs is a hydro-electric dam" "A glass of water would be nice"

Tolerate thy neighbour

Great Expectations - Managing Expectations

'It happens.'

The Clinton Campaign, post-mid-September

Half full. Optimist. Half empty. Pessimist. Pragmatist.

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Practical.

William James

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

"Always remain honest. Failing that, always remain solvent so you can afford a good lawyer."

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

"Just because we're breaking up doesn't mean your money and I can't remain friends."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Drive-thru Church

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"How is it gendered?"

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

Vote Progressive: 'It's not the rich, it's people trying to get rich who create new jobs!'

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

'We're looking for a CEO who would be willing to take the rap.'

Republicans Refuse To Raise The Glass Ceilings

Dear (some of) my fellow lefties. . . shut up and get the hell off my side.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Corporations Sitting on a Mountain of Cash, and they're not Hiring!'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

"Well, we've finally miniaturized this device as much as is practical. Time to make it big again."

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court picked social justice over regular justice.'

"I'll bet that in a few years, gender won't be a wedge issue like it is today!"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

George Santayana